Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Parent Jitters


I wish I could blog about how thrilled I am to have completed my first semester at Vermont College, what a ride it's been, how much I've learned, how much better my writing has gotten, all of that good stuff, but today, this week's professional accomplishment has been entirely overshadowed by something so much bigger.

My oldest goes in for minor surgery tomorrow.  She's having her adenoids removed and turbinades shrunken. She's a mouth breather, is going through the joys of orthodontic work, and needs more breathing room.

It's minor surgery. Twenty minutes tops.


But it's a full anesthesia. Granted, that's what my husband does. Not that he's doing hers. Not a good idea to work on your own loved ones. He'll be in the OR, though, which is great. Still, I'm worried. This is my baby. My little girl. My responsibility.
Will everything go all right? How will her recovery be? Is the pain manageable?

I don't even want to go to that one question that circles around on the perimeter of all the other worried parent questions. It's like, if I give voice to that question, I'm inviting disaster.

I'm not the only one who worries like this, am I? Am I overdoing it? Okay, maybe. I keep telling myself it could be a lot worse. There are greater things to overcome. But denying my feelings isn't working all that well today.

So, I guess I'm going to bury myself in my writing. And when my baby gets home after school, hug and hug and hug her.

Somewhere, in all that, I hope to find my courage.

8 comments:

kaye said...

good luck with the surgery--it is so much harder when it's your little one.

Stacy Nyikos said...

That's so true!

Meg Wiviott said...

It is so hard to watch your child go through surgery. I am certain she will come through it with flying colors, and so will you.

Now get back to writing! Have you sent in your EOS packet yet?

Green Girl in Wisconsin said...

Will say a prayer--that IS scary, even when it's an easy surgery.
Please post about your experience at Vermont College--I want to know what it's like!

Monica said...

There is truly no such thing as a minor surgery when it comes to our children.
You have my prayers!

Keri Mikulski said...

Sending hugs...

Stacy Nyikos said...

Thanks, Everyone, I really appreciate your kind words. She got through the surgery with flying colors and is now home with a very stuffy nose but good spirits. I, on the other hand, seriously need a hair colorist :-)

Sarah Laurence said...

What a relief to hear that the surgery went well. My husband has had 3 this fall, and it is stressful watching a loved one go through it and looking after them as they recover. I haven't spent much time on line myself. All is better now.

Another blogger in my circle has started a low residency MFA at Vermont College - Cynthia Newberry Martin. She writes the Catching Days blog and is also a parent. I think you'd like each other.

Happy New Year!